WHO AM I REALLY?3:06 AM
The easiest questions in the world are oftentimes the questions that make me cringe and think in the attempt to come up with sensible answers. I rarely cringe at difficult questions because by then I can always say that I still need to think of the answer. But when faced with a simple and easy question such as “Who Am I?” I feel like I am facing a big giant that would swallow me up if I don’t blurt out an answer right there and then.
So, who am I (really)?
I am a grown woman, shaped by my past and continuously challenged by my future. I have been into many a life's dramas and I resolve to (as much as possible) never be in one ever again. I live far from my parents and my sister. I moved out after I graduated in college. I braved the concrete jungle (stayed in Manila and Makati) and has transitioned so well I rarely miss home and the laidback lifestyle it has offered me. But I won’t lie, I miss my peaceful playground. I am so attached to people that matter so much to me. I always am the nurturing kind, always the one ready to understand. I am strong, I would like to believe I am. I have been exposed to different situations that tested my integrity and my own self-worth and realized that I am better than some of the tampon-buying population. I have learned so many life lessons that I strive to apply in my daily life moving forward. But still, I haven’t separated with my old self. I still am a crybaby. Anything can be a tearjerker for me (be it a little insect or something that only exist in a rocket scientists world). I do not settle for mediocrity and hate being second best sometimes, well maybe all the time.
I know and admit that I am both naughty and nice. But yeah, I am always often nice more than naughty. I always let my conscience and my reason rule over me. And when it comes to matters of the heart, my brain, and my heart always work together. I am willing to take risks, to get in peoples' faces, to weather angry responses, to ask and risk rejection, to make bold claims, to take chances because I do not like to spend watching the sunset with what-ifs in my mind. Some people follow their dreams, others hunt them down and beat them mercilessly into submission while I confidently trod in the direction of my dreams because, in the long run, I only hit what I aim at. I do not give up easily so much so on the last yard line. If I lose, I embrace such with the same gusto. In matters of principles, I stand like a rock, I am not easily swayed more so influenced.
I hate drama and halfwits with equal passion. Though I might seem to be shielded, I am generally low maintenance except that I would not ride the jeepney alone and I would not be seen dead wearing the so-called granny undies. Give me a break… I’d do my laundry over wash the dishes. I like my sinigang super sour and my pasta sweet and spicy. I’d rather be single than be with a dodo. I hate being late much more being stood up. I love multitasking, keeping myself busy. I love shoes and moisturizers above all money could ever buy. Oh, not to forget my lip gloss. I am a girl’s girl and was never a tomboy. I can only count the number of syringes that invaded my veins. Only 5 bottles of dextrose have entered my system in my entire existence. Only flu can get me down. I collect TY Bears and loves being surrounded by pillows and more pillows (well at least for now – I have 10 in my bed). I cannot function well without taking a bath or a quick shower. If I die anytime, I want my casket painted pink, I want real flowers on my grave and not the plastic and paper ones.
I’m a scaredy cat though I love watching horror and thriller movies/shows. I can scare myself to no end just by imagining things. I love lazy afternoons and the birds chirping when I wake up. I can reach my neck with my tongue while still looking at my horizon. I am picture happy and loves taking pictures of anything and everything. I have a collection of local and foreign wedding magazines and yeah I have planned out my wedding already but I am still open to tweaks and revisions if need be. I plan how my day will go while still managing to inject spontaneity along the way. I happily embrace any change and I avoid conflicts. I don’t have any problems blurting out a hearty laugh at any given time. I love ballet and art films and a staunch believer of the Rights of a Child.
Oh yeah, I could only wish I invented Post-Its and Tongue Scrapers.