Should I Stay or Should I Go?

8:09 PM

PHOTO CREDIT: Google Images
I woke up around 1AM yesterday and noticed that the living room light was off. I texted Uncle Don if he turned off the light before he left and he replied that he left it on. The first wave of paranoia got the best of me again. I tiptoed out of bed and unlocked my door slowly and went to the living room and lo and behold the main door is open. I was dead scared. I immediately ran towards the door and lock it and ran back to my room. I texted Uncle Don again and asked if he locked the door and he replied that he did make sure that the door was locked before he left. The second wave of paranoia came knocking again. I texted Joyce and asked if she passed by the house while I was asleep and I got no response. I texted Jonah and asked if she was home and she said she is still at work. I called Uncle Don and he got nervous too when I told him that the lights were off and that our main door was open. See, we have a victim of burglary about five months ago and up until now I am still scared of that incident. Anything could have happened to me if I did not lock my room door that day.

Uncle Don decided to come home and check on me as Joyce was not answering her phone as he was scared for my safety too knowing that criminals nowadays are just lurking in every corner. To cut the long story short, Joyce was inside their room and she said her phone is with her mom that explains why we did not get any response to our text messages and our calls were left unanswered. She said she locked the door. Whoever opened our door or left the door open we still don't know at this point. When Uncle Don left the house to go back to work, Joyce got out of the room and told me how paranoid I am and that even if the door was left unlocked nothing was missing inside the house. This made my blood boil and we had a little squabble. I told her I was concerned for my safety and not for any material thing inside the house and that I did not care if something was missing. I told her I have all the right to be paranoid now because when I am dead I could not be paranoid anymore. I did not expect for her to act that way, she was completely unreasonable. I detest her "I-do-not-care-about-your-paranoia" attitude and that incident almost made my cry while we were discussing. I was just mad, pissed and scared.

We moved to this house almost two years ago without the help of any moving services. It took us a million times alright to bring our stuff from our old apartment to this new apartment. I never would have imagined that we would be burglarized as our current apartment looked too safe. We lived securely without any fear until that one fateful May 17 morning. I could not imagine what could have happened to me if I left my room open. I may not be typing this blog post now as the thief might have killed me. God forbid!

I do not know how to deal with this situation. I am not sure if I will ever get over this paranoia. Until when will I feel scared? Is it time to consult Makati, Quezon City, Toronto, Denver or Tucson movers? Is it time to move out of this apartment again? If I do will it ever make me forget what happened? I guess it's time to bring out relocation calculators and start weighing the pros and cons of whatever my decision will be.

In time, I just have to deal with the fear and try my hardest to keep myself safe at all times.

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