6:41 PM

It's not a secret that I had a difficult pregnancy and it was a relief that there were no complications to me and to my baby when  I gave birth. I was so grateful that I was given the opportunity to stay at home after being granted medical leave by the company I work for. Until now my heart is overflowing with gratitude as I feel that the rest I enjoyed on my third trimester saved my life and my baby's life.

The relief I felt was short-lived though as I struggled if I will go back to work after my maternity leave or stay at home and take care of my daughter. It was a daily struggle to me and it's quite unnerving. I was always in a constant debate with myself whether I entrust my daughter to a help or to give up my career and be at her beck and call round the clock. I have a high-paying job albeit a very stressful one and it requires me to work nights so that makes the situation more complicated. My husband talked to me and assured me that he would support whatever my decision is but he also made it clear that if it were up to him he would prefer if I shift my focus to caring for our little daughter. For someone that is used to working and earning her own keep, that was an extremely difficult situation to be in. I knew that I had to choose and the time has come.

I left my job because I wanted to spend quality time with my family (my husband and my daughter). When I was still working, I would be planning my vacation leaves wisely and dutifully juggled work and my married life. There were times though that work would trump my married life because there would be meetings scheduled earlier than my shift that I had to attend or there are some tasks that needs to be done after my regular working hours. I had to leave my husband alone in our apartment while I earn a living. I come home in the morning and just when he wakes up, I go to bed. There's no amount of quality in that if I may say so. I feel I was consumed by my career no matter how hard I try to balance my focus. I am thankful that I married a very understanding man and that he was content to spend time with me on my weekends. I don't want that to happen now to our daughter. I don't want my daughter to feel like she is my second priority because after all she is my first priority not my job. I want her to feel my love wholly. After all, my husband deserves a happy wife, my daughter deserves a stress-free mom and I deserve to live a quiet yet happy life.

I left my job because I don't want any regrets. I know I will never ever regret giving up my career because I can find another job if I want to. I also do know that if I choose my job over my daughter, I will have the biggest regrets in the future - I would regret not being able to see her first step, not being able to hear her first word, or not being the one to console her in between her crying fits at night. I once talked to a mom who shared that she envies the "yaya" of her daughter because the baby is closer to her. The baby would run to the yaya when she needs soothing after falling down or would only calm down after the yaya caresses her or sings her a song. It's heartbreaking! She maybe successful in her career but I know as I looked in her eyes that if she had the choice, she would rather take care of her daughter than take care of her patients.

Reality Check: Turning your back on a seriously well-paying job isn't most people would and could do.

I left my job because I trust my husband's promise that he will provide for our needs. My husband earns a decent salary and he can very well support my needs as well as our baby's needs while at the same paying the equity for the property we just purchased. I am fortunate enough that my husband trusts how I manage our finances.  I am also quite confident that our savings account will not be drained anytime soon because I was able to save a sizeable amount from my bonuses  and salary last year. I have also managed to pay off all my credit card debt and I have no outstanding loans from either SSS or HDMF.

I left my job because the rewards of being a stay at home mom far outweighs the rewards of being the employee of the year. I feel extremely happy every time my daughter smiles at me or when she responds when I try to play with her. I enjoy our time together especially when I give her a bath or when I lull her to sleep. With my daughter, I get my reward on a daily basis and get my real-time performance review as well. It gives me pure joy knowing that the experience of being a mom/parent is so rewarding.

Reality Check: All the sacrifices, no matter how small, if you make it for your family, it will be worth it!

I left my job because I want a more fulfilling job. Motherhood is a job, without rest days or vacation leaves, without monetary rewards or town hall recognitions. Motherhood's reward is seeing my child happy and well taken cared of. Motherhood's reward is raising my child in a relaxing and nurturing environment that only me can give. It is for all intents and good reasons the most rewarding career I will ever have.

Would you give up your career for your family? 

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